Learning to Enjoy the Moment – How my 2-year old son taught me to slow down and appreciate life
This week, while mommy had a hair appointment, I spent a couple hours with our son at the nearby shopping mall. We had 2 hours to burn, with nothing in particular to do. And me not being particularly interested in shopping, I decided to just let my 2-year-old explore and wander the mall. One of the first things he discovered is a large Koi fish pond. I thought he would probably sit and look at it for about 2 minutes before trying to jump in or move on to something more interesting.
I mean, I lived in Asia for 10 years. I’ve seen plenty of Koi fish in my life. Nothing new. What new experience could I possibly have with some Koi? They’re some fish, just like all the other Koi fish I’ve seen.
Despite my assumption that our little Jin would be sick of the fish in a few minutes, he proceeded to spend the next 20-25 minutes just sitting there observing the fish, pointing and babbling at certain ones, maybe trying to tell me how big or small they are, or that they’re unusually colored. And I, being in charge of this little baby’s safety, could do nothing else – He was leaning over a ~2’ deep Koi pond, I couldn’t exactly sit on my phone or read a book. So instead I just sat there with him, watching the Koi fish, with nothing else in particular to do, no reason to be hurrying off to do the next thing. And after about 20 minutes, something really cool happened.
The Koi fish started to look really cool and beautiful to me. After focusing on nothing but the Koi fish for so long (and maybe my son), I started to notice every little detail in coloration, how the colors swirled around each other, and how the fish swam around the pond and each other, causing the water to ripple in cool patterns. I started to truly feel joy and happiness from just looking at these fish…Fish exactly like thousands I had seen before.
I realized what was happening to me was similar to what I’ve heard described as “slow looking”, or even how some people describe the practice of meditation. While I believed that some people experienced extraordinary feelings when hyper-focused on something like art, there has always been a part of me that felt like “I’m too logical for that mushy emotional stuff.” I’m the guy who goes to an art museum and can appreciate paintings that require a high level of mastery with a brush or pen with lots of details and beautifully painted lighting, but fail to see what others see when it’s something more abstract, like paint “just” splashed across a canvas.
I realized that this is a big part of what people see in art and how some people can sit in front of one painting for hours to appreciate it. This feeling is truly the heart of the “slow” movements – slow food, slow looking, slow fashion, etc. – slowing down life experiences so much that you discover the joy in every detail of something.
I’ve had similar experiences before, the exercise in Josh Spodek’s Initiative methodology had me eating 3 raisins as slowly as I could, where I felt similarly engaged and focused, bringing emotions that I didn’t usually experience when I normally ate raisins. But something about the Koi fish brought it to a new level. It’s opened a door inside of me and I’m now curious to try some other things “slow.” As a classical musician, slow practice has always been a thing for me (wanna learn how to play a piece fast? Play it really slow, over and over), but have I ever taken the time to really slow down and focus on listening to a piece of music? Maybe listen to the same part over and over again? Maybe even slow the audio down to hear tiny details! I’m curious to see if I can recreate similar feelings and experiences in other parts of my life.
How many of you have tried doing things slow and had a similar experience? Any suggestions for things to check out to continue to explore this phenomenon? I’d love to hear your stories.
