Shopping Hurts Your Wallet, Happiness, and The Planet – How I Escape the Dopamine Trap
It’s 6:13am. I’m in my living room laying flat on the floor on my stomach. Chest heaving up and down as I take quick, gasping breaths. My legs and arms feel like they’re burning. My forehead is slightly damp with sweat. I just finished my second set of burpees for the day, and as usual, they kick my butt.
Like with most things that make your life feel meaningful, they’re hard to do and I absolutely hate them in the moment, but I love the results that come from having done them. My arms and legs are stronger and more toned than they used to be. My stomach and chest look better than they have in years. But recently I’ve been feeling like I need to add something to my exercise routine. Something that adds a bit of weight to my routine to start to build some more muscle.
“Something new to buy??” one part of my brain asks, and I feel the rush of and excitement that you feel when you realize you get to buy something. “Oh boy! It’s time to go search for something that would fit my exercise need!” In this case, it started a multi-week-long search for what exercise equipment would help me most and what I should buy. I even came really close to buying a couple of different things, but I’ve learned to stop impulse purchases just to feel good. At least most of the time…
Shopping as a Drug
Just as much as anyone, I feel the rush of the dopamine hit when you realize there’s something you need to buy, and it makes me think about how I completely understand that some people really do get addicted to shopping. The desire to want to jump on the internet or go to Target and look for something to buy is a really hard feeling to escape from. Through marketing, advertising, and tactics taken from the world of gambling and casinos, corporations (supercharged by the internet) make it so easy to spend your money and feel good about it too, if only until you realize you’re deeper into credit card debt and you wasted money on a bunch of stuff you really don’t need.
How I Combat the Itch to Shop
For me, part of stopping the itch to shop doesn’t mean NOT feeling the dopamine hit. I am human and am going to have human emotional responses to things. The trick is to accept that the feeling exists and recognize that I don’t have to act on it, and to think of ways to redirect it. Much in the same way you may learn to tell yourself “Man that ice cream sundae the size of my head would be amazing to eat…and it’s free if I eat it all!” but then say “I want it, but I know that’s going straight to my belly fat…I’ll pass this time”, it’s about zooming out and trying to remember the bigger picture…and then maybe allowing yourself to indulge in a very rare case, or maybe just settling for a small ice cream cone instead.
I find the way to stop myself from compulsive shopping and making impulse purchases is a several-step process. Here’s how I do it.
Identify and accept the feeling
Trying to stomp down on or repress emotions is usually a one-way trip to failure. Instead, get curious about it. “Whoa, thinking about shopping for that thing just felt exciting. That’s that dopamine I’m feeling right now.” This is going to help you start to become more self-aware about your habit. Instead of acting as the person feeling the dopamine hit, it’s almost like you’re taking a step outside of your own body, grabbing a clipboard and observing: “This person is feeling excitement and good feeling due to a dopamine rush”, which is a much better state of mind to avoid an impulse-purchase since it’s not “you” making the buy.
Live with the feelings for a bit
Again, don’t try to deny the feeling. Instead of immediately going out to buy, I search online for good, quality products to buy, which allows me to learn more about what’s out there and gives me another layer of level-headed reasoning: is this really what I need? Do people find this thing effective? Sometimes this research turns me off to the product completely and makes me glad I didn’t impulse buy. Sitting with the “excitement to buy” also makes me do a lot of pondering about the feeling – am I still excited for the product itself? Or am I just being excited to buy something new? Do I really need this thing?
Give it time. Lots of time.
For me personally, I find it takes about 3 days for me to go from “excited to buy” to “well-reasoned and thoughtful about whether this is actually something I need”. For those first 3 days, I’m in the “danger zone”, where I feel a desire to want to impulse buy. If I’m able to hold off for about a week, it almost always allows me to make a smart choice on the item – I’ve had enough time to cool off, think calmly, and decide whether I really need the thing or not.
I have a pretty good example here. I recently got bit by the drone bug – a friend had taken some amazing video with a drone of his kids playing and my shopping itch went into overdrive. “Oh man, I should do that too! Think of all the things I could do with a drone! It would be so fun to fly! I could take so many videos of my kids! I could take videos of me hiking! I would be a good dad!” and I spent the next few days looking up drones and feeling really strongly tempted to buy one. But after about a week, I noticed I started to feel less excited about it. I started to have a second, slowly growing feeling of “I mean…It would be cool to have one, but I don’t really need it, and it would probably just end up in my closet most of the time…” I found that time acts as a filter or a tool to help me make smart choices! It’s the best tool I have to stop me from buying things I don’t really need.
Making smart purchases
I like the idea of minimalism – the concept that you only own the things that you absolutely need and love, and ruthlessly get rid of or don’t buy anything you don’t. It simplifies your life (and one of my rules in life is to fight for simplicity), declutters your spaces (both physically and mentally), and makes me feel like I’m doing something good for the environment as well: less stuff means less packaging, less waste, and less contributing to a capitalistic system I don’t approve of (another blog post for another day). Anyone who has been to my home would probably agree I do not qualify as a minimalist, but it’s one of the many journeys I am on to see how far I can get!
Lastly, one more limit I apply to my shopping is that if I can, I buy second-hand. This allows me to get what I need/want without contributing money to companies that over-produce products for them to market to us, which in turn creates far more pollution than is necessary. It takes more time and effort than just walking into Target, but it’s another layer of buying time to see if I truly need or want the thing I’m looking for. It also means it’s a lot cheaper! And it’s very rare that I’m not able to find what I’m looking for…You can buy almost anything second-hand and still have it be practically brand new for a fraction of the cost.
The Wrap Up
Shopping can be dangerous – nearly half of Americans have credit card debt. Endless numbers of goods are marketed to us all with truly manipulative, hyperactive, seductive messaging with a goal of getting us to spend every last dollar we earn on stuff we don’t need. I get that shopping can be a thrilling, dopamine inducing experience, but for me, the skill of shopping smart helps guide my life down the path of happiness. By accepting the feelings, living with those feelings for a bit, then just giving myself a lot of time, I guarantee that I’m not cluttering my life with junk while contributing to polluting, and instead making sure that everything in my life truly brings me more happiness by being the things I truly love or need.
Oh, and in case you guys were wondering what happened with my exercise buy, I ended up having a call with a personal trainer friend who confirmed what my research told me: a kettlebell would fit the bill of what I need perfectly, and I am now waiting for one of the right size to pop up second-hand online. Now I can buy one feeling like it was well-considered and that it will help contribute to my health and happiness.
I hope my experience helps you and makes you think the next time you feel that dopamine hit and the drive to impulse buy. If you guys have any suggestions for me, feel free to comment down below as I’d love to hear your tips or techniques for preventing yourself from wasteful shopping!
